Today is a big day. The start of this fast on July 1 (pt 1 of this post) coincides with my husband’s first day of going down to part-time work in the church and picking up part-time work in the business world while we actively search and wait for “what’s next” in ministry. We knew in early April that this day would be coming, and we have spent the last three months seeking and hoping and praying to discern and find our next ministry as a family.
It’s a stretch of road that we’ve been on more times than I personally would have chosen. You know, more times than if I were able to line up all the pieces and steps of our lives in the exact “ideal” way I might see fit. But honestly, what would that really look like or be like, anyway? I’m imagining perhaps there is less anxiety with having and “knowing” your place and future and being in secure jobs that don’t lean as much toward the faith/risk side of things. That’s not the path we’re on, though. And I’m ok with it, because of those “more times.”
I count about seven such times during our 15 year marriage (July 9!) that we have left the “known” for the “unknown” – requiring us to take those first nerve-wracking steps away from the present security and walk the tentative in-between stretch until we could see beyond the proverbial bend in the road. We seem to be getting a lot of practice at major life change and each time I grow more ok with it. You know, all the NOT knowing and waiting and trusting, and sometimes getting hopes up and being disappointed, and STILL trusting and praying and following.
These seasons of uncertainty do seem to get a little easier – not because the upcoming transitions necessarily hold less challenging circumstances or decisions than those we’ve faced before, but because as our varied list of life experiences gets longer we have more and more stories of God’s timing and provision and direction along the way – and going over those stories gives us comfort and courage. As we’ve experienced before, this section of life could be a few weeks or it could be some long months, and our faith and hope sustains us.
Today is a big day. I embrace today…though not without just the tiniest wry smirk at following God on this same road yet again. My eyes recognize this familiar ground and I want to run the race well (you know, spiritually speaking, since I’m NOT a runner), but sometimes my legs still get a little wobbly like I’ve had them tucked up under me in a La-Z-Boy for too long.
It’s time to unfurl the weak or weary parts and find strength renewed. My prayer is that building my spiritual muscles with this 3 day fast will fill me to overflowing with the empowering life of the Spirit.
Many of YOU KNOW these same feelings, facing transition, seeking God.
For you, I share this hope: Today, and every day, is a big day, because it’s a new day.
And now, cue my favorite song for moments such as these…one of my themes on repeat since January 12, 2011. Thanks for reading and listening! If you’d like, join the fast.
- Today is a big day (pt 1) – 3 Day Fast
- Godly Women